SNIPPETS

APRIL 7,  2010

VANCOUVER, British Columbia, April 6 (UPI) -- A self-admitted heavy-sleeping British professor says he was appalled to wake up in a Canadian airport service hangar 90 minutes after his flight landed. 

Must be a real exciting teacher.

APRIL 6,  2010

DUBAI (Reuters) - A Dubai court Sunday upheld a one-month jail sentence given to a British pair for kissing in public, media reports said.  The British man living in Dubai and a female friend were arrested in November on charges of kissing intimately in public and consuming alcohol. An Emirati mother had complained her child had seen their indiscretion. 

Welcome to the 10th century.  Glad you could make it. 

APRIL 5,  2010

LOS ANGELES, April 4 (UPI) -- Hundreds of people in Los Angeles and others in cities worldwide got a chance to channel their inner child by indulging in public pillow fights this weekend.  Saturday's events in about 150 communities were part of International Pillow Fight Day, promoted by the public art group Newmindspace, the Los Angeles Times reported Sunday.

And to think, Obama wants the United States unilaterally to cut its number of pillows in half.

APRIL 4,  2010

LONDON, April 2 (UPI) -- A British polling company said its latest survey indicates Britons tell an average of four lies a day, with the most common being a lack of phone signal.  OnePoll said its survey of 4,300 adults suggests Britons tell an average of nearly 1,500 lies per year, with the most popular lie being a claim of having no phone signal when failing to return a missed call, The Daily Telegraph reported Friday.

Compared to the Obama administration, the British are at the pinnacle of integrity.

APRIL 3,  2010

From Fox:   President Obama can do one small thing Monday to help boost his image among a politically divided public:  Throw a strike.  The commander-in-chief will resume a century-old tradition Monday when he tosses out the ceremonial first pitch on Opening Day in Washington.

You can be sure it will be a low curve.

APRIL 2,  2010

SACRAMENTO, April 1 (UPI) -- People in the Sacramento area might be pardoned for asking if the folks who publish their schools' error-filled math books are smarter than a fifth-grader.  The Sacramento Bee reported Thursday the new Macmillan/McGraw-Hill math books distributed to second-graders at 79 city-area elementary schools in the Sacramento City and Folsom Cordova districts include the equation: five times three equals five.

Oh, come on.  That equation is correct.  It's used every day by the budget committees of the California legislature.  Let's stop nit-picking, shall we?